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You Were Never Alone

by Emery

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1.
You pushed my head under the water I lost my breath, but the skyline called my name The wilds the wilds the wilds they pull you in These miles we’ve walked and miles we talked have been The first time I am not alone in my head By itself, oneself, can’t find where it began The dust you’ll find beneath my feet Reminds me of the simpler things When it was only you and me But now I see, now I see So we all fall asleep So we laugh and play So we drink and eat So we count our time So we know our keep But it floats away, Nothing seems to stay these days Fragile and weak It’s been years and now I get a moment to speak And all I think about Is what to say When your face to face with nothing And nothing will escape your lips The clouds, the clouds, the clouds They take their shape We dream that in their billows Are answers to this place You ask me to surrender You’re sure it’s what I’ll take We broke our bread together And cursed it at the gates I’m a son of a father My mother’s oldest one You make your trade with your brothers Sister you’re not the only one Head to toe I’m drowning I told you not to speak Frail and fragile weak dim The light down on the street. But the light still lingers In my eyes I’m a son of a father My mother’s oldest one You make your trade with your brothers Sister you’re not the only one
2.
thrash 04:27
Align yourself With the freed men How can you deny this ground You sold your flesh Tell yourself that you’re a free man Tear your vestments the slave becomes the crown The thirst filled us the worst years of Birth and death were held by threads The turning set about the pages saw escape The filth of years beneath our fingers washed away Then gold within our ears drew figures and erased The wretched lost their way, they’re standing here today Resist with wounded eyes, wide awake but dead inside You’re breaking my heart You’re breaking my heart Standing here the audience will tear me all apart The hardened answers you planned fell apart So blanket me, so you can see, you’ve broken my heart So I will tell you one last thing, intertwine us for history it will seal our fates, But I’ll take my place Your rigid throats proclaim the righteous written word But you cut out the veins and now you sleep with her It’s dripping from your mouths, It’s pouring from your skin The lust of power takes you and the stench has settled in You have ground your teeth craving control I see what’s waiting for me, and it’s beautiful so beautiful I can’t stop these words they all rush to me But I guess I’ve lost my senses there’s just so much to see Many times in my life I doubted your words But here I am and everything I’ve heard is true And it’s you, so beautiful Beautiful to me
3.
hard times 03:58
I sat there while you plead your case, for confidence and secrets to be erased I was riddled by your words I bet that you could hardly wait to send the cavalry, for me, your subtly replaced With spoils (My father told me) Of your work (Don’t forget who you are, when you’re one step from death you’ll still have your north star) The things I (My strength decieved me, I thought I’d own the world ) I know my worth isn’t But this fool I’ve become can’t see straight to forget her) The loneliness of loving someone can steal your eyes, and spill the hope you had and you’re left to spin the why’s by yourself and no one else, no one else The trust you handed over, the people that you hurt But you could never stop yourself, an addict for the worst What you felt, were lies they’d sell and nothing else So I sit here making my big plans, Like they could rescue me but now I see The answer through my window, That nothing can replace Those memories my father gave me Are all that’s left but Im ready To escape this life The loneliness of loving someone can steal your eyes, and spill the hope you had and you’re left to spin the why’s by yourself and no one else, no one else The trust you handed over, the people that you hurt But you could never stop yourself, an addict for the worst What you felt, were lies they’d sell and nothing else I’m sorry for the words I couldn’t say, I’m sorry that your efforts were in vain, You were promised so much more than I have gave, I’m not a honest man I was born for the grave. This city stole the faith you had in me, This mistress stole the life I hadn’t seen. But this face is the last thing they’ll see, I want to feel the sun and sky on my face as I die! The loneliness of loving someone can steal your eyes, and spill the hope you had and you’re left to spin the why’s by yourself and no one else, no one else The trust you handed over, the people that you hurt But you could never stop yourself, an addict for the worst What you felt, were lies they’d sell and nothing else
4.
Wait don't go i've been walking through these woods shivering in these new clothes and I I wanted to see the world through eyes but they were never meant for me It was placed just right, to catch the eyes, we waited completely naked But never underestimate the lie, that kind, that breaks it, the whole life that you tasted I thought I heard her say I don't want to go but the words hurt more than I thought through and nothing leaves you quite as cold As my father's back turned on me when you take someone down the garden path you take someone for all they have And death was only a word but to a jealous heart that has made it's plans it was the soil that gave it birth And the sun it’s light there on me Shone through the clouds and upon my feet To the ground that we chose as a door to leave Die for one man I was so in love. I was just so young and so in love. How could I say no to the hand that was built for me I saw it so clear, like the first day you laughed or said my name I couldn't say no, but we both know, we both know We would have been changed like the days of our lives The illusion was ours, it was joy it was rapture , Oh this place is a hell with it's death and goodbyes And you can't stop yourself when you’re dreaming of days But these pieces will fade until there's only this place . in this world that’s to come, it's only the fear was there ever a moment, just a moment the truth could touch our lips Would it have mattered, the harvest will come If I would have chosen another, it would have meant I loved him more than you
5.
You ever catch yourself just thinking of a way to get out? It’s like a reflex motion. The words slip in and leave a taste that you let linger for days, inside your heart. We fell asleep, just like before, there under trees I can’t do this anymore Make this all something that’s behind us For me and for you, this is not the end but I’m scared Color your words in a soft subtle sequence But you force this on us like we shouldn’t care The fields they will find us in are marked and now The end, the end, the end is here We fell asleep, just like before, you said I can’t do this anymore You better run, you best not stay They catch you here this all goes away This all goes away Just give me a chance to change your mind Speak with the others you will see The place that you now hope to find, your peace will cut pieces right out from me You could make this all go away Years Swept by us like Seas And we slept by ourselves to see We hid hope in our sleeves And all the world knew we believed This life took me by the hand God knows where you’ll find yourself in the end You better run, you best not stay They catch you here this all goes away This all goes away. The less you say the more I’m can’t shake The reason you would leave is the reason you could stay
6.
pink slip 03:20
This town ain’t big enough for both of us, So don’t sleep on the things that my hands have done The flora and the fire keep lighting up the distance Careful with your mouth don’t let it run Out of sight, out of mind Dug my heels into the earth It was safe, it was mine, but this is where the way turns Take it while you get it, toss this and forget it As you swallow your seat and your son You’re plagued with pride of fathers Long since dead behind you Careful with your feet don’t let them run To question yourself the cursed will stay away You can camoflouge, you can lock up and you can stow away. But it is to question one’s self in a hideout to leave the cover, the cursed will stay away. And in my hard heart I tried to block out, and to blot out, and obstruct the clouds. But the shroud, the bell, the blanket and the envelope will eclipse them now. Forget what you left, this part is never easy Standing where the water meets the shore you feel the sun Touch your face and leave it’s mark with nowhere left to run To hide your shaking hands and words that swore this was the day. You never feel as weak as when the answers go away I was caught in the current, it’s a lesson and I’ve learned it The teacher left scars on our fists I’m the worst, I’m the worst, just please leave me here There’s pain we never speak of, second guess the ones that we love And the last thing you want is for your last words to sound so scared, but you find yourself here, alone and scared Will they leave you here, Will you leave me here The best part of that Is I want it back The best things to say I want to say that all this time I was wrong The water’s deep As they find their sleep And I begged for less But I second guessed That you would come After me From the hands of my mother to the hands of a girl From the hands of my mother to the hands of the world From the hands of my mother to the hands I see before me Could I part this deep I never wanted to say but I had to And I’ll take your blame but it was always you We left after morning as you called to your name The past still waits It’s the pain we never speak of To catch my eye, Second guess the ones that we love And I never stopped All the words and our confessions To question I never thought that I should question To question why
7.
to the deep 03:38
Align yourself With the freed men How can you deny this ground You sold your flesh Tell yourself that you’re a free man Tear your vestments the slave becomes the crown The thirst filled us the worst years of Birth and death were held by threads The turning set about the pages saw escape The filth of years beneath our fingers washed away Then gold within our ears drew figures and erased The wretched lost their way, they’re standing here today Resist with wounded eyes, wide awake but dead inside You’re breaking my heart You’re breaking my heart Standing here the audience will tear me all apart The hardened answers you planned fell apart So blanket me, so you can see, you’ve broken my heart So I will tell you one last thing, intertwine us for history it will seal our fates, But I take my place Your rigid throats proclaim the righteous written word But you cut out the veins and now you sleep with her It’s dripping from your mouths, It’s pouring from your skin The lust of power takes you and the stench has settled in You have ground your teeth craving control I see what’s waiting for me, and it’s beautiful so beautiful I can’t stop these words they all rush to me But I guess I’ve lost my senses there’s just so much to see Many times in my life I doubted your words But here I am and everything I’ve heard is true And it’s you, so beautiful Beautiful to me
8.
I wanted to sit out of this one but my God you’re so convincing I said I would and I meant I’d try but with a wealth of doubts came a mouth full of lies (I said that i would, and i meant every word but it took the ending) I sank my teeth in the kingdom come and spit out my years and held back my tongue (And all that i heard, from the foot of my bed this was just the beginning) Make this your business what I am about to say The last touch between us took this all the way. Don’t believe for once that I could let this go away It’s right behind, these eyes of mine even if I stay And I wanted to fix this like you fixed my name to this I said I would and I meant I’d try but with a wealth of doubts came a mouth full of lies I sank my teeth in the kingdom come and spit out my years pulled back my tongue Forget the wasted time we've made it The stars are out just in time to see. The dark retreating and shadows fleeting We found the ground beneath our feet. What’s stopping you (What’s stopping you) What’s stopping you don’t let this in What’s stopping you (What’s stopping you) What’s stopping you can’t stop all of this These clumsy arms can’t be the first Distance your regrets is what i've heard You sit there with a pardon like a present Oh my soul Those words I guess i'm never gonna be alone But I’m on my own Don’t believe for once that I would let this go away Forget the wasted time we've made it (I knew it right away) The stars are out just in time to see. (This would break all of their hearts) The dark retreating and shadows fleeting (I couldn’t stay away) We found the ground beneath our feet. (A good person always plays their part) What’s stopping you (What’s stopping you) What’s stopping you don’t let this in What’s stopping you (What’s stopping you) What’s stopping you can’t stop all of this Always wanted to say that I would be the first. From the ground to the table I planned and rehearsed To be there at the moment to capture my name, But it’s yours and not mine and it’s your’s that he made Lift up your hands it’s surrender or praise So you burn all your plans for the words you believed The nails you learned to drive between The wood and earth that made you see That simple men of simple means can hold the heavens in their hands Second place I find here (I’ve always known my part) The upper case is yours not mine (But I would love to see this through) Teach these hands to have fear (Could we go back to the start) Orchestrate my words and lines. (When it was just me and you) But I never said I wanted any of this, I never said no
9.
I thought I was the sun and all it’s light shining in the dark, your vengeance my guide I wanted to take this world back for you Tearing skin and voice let the light breakthrough I can’t see a thing I want this more than anything The headlight stopped my feet from moving and my eyelids could not close or move away. From the echo of the voice that buckled both my knees and flung me to the ground beneath the weight. The earth and road seemed like they were not there at all but there it was and everything in place. But I was changed, I was not the same But now I confess, here in my own flesh is the familiar and the intimate 7 words, 7 words have severed into me 7 words, 7 words have brought me to my knees Count your blessings that you’ve never seen the things the simple things were ours to take. But the questions danced around our innocence and now the innocence is nothing more than faith. Gather towards the door your things, come quickly now, the morning gives the light away. Open your heart, to the very worst parts and let them depart I cut my teeth on the flesh of the liars I made my words into stones and then broke all the bones I never saw the blade, that ripped up my rib cage My eyes glazed over and the world moved on How dare we speak of future and boast of legacy
10.
And I wanted to see it, the crease and the curve of the skin Four words got me in again and again again b But my friend, it was the light just behind us, I knew we never could keep up The beds we make, the steps we take, are graves we fill everyday Roof top views of city buildings gathered where the sun sets on them steals the eye Touch the streets with feet in hurried measure Our discretion means we never lie. We never have to lie You stole my eyes, so you I will take You are the test of our grace Threads become lines, we cross till they break And they break from the seams to the bodies of men. The illusion was ours, it was joy and it was rapture, I would have settled for capture, but a lost life found my bed And all the wages of another and the secret is no longer mine Warm the body like so many others your discretion means we never lie We never have to lie We will lie we will take Withered and Crushed the fire and the fate You will die for our sake We will see the world in the blood You stole my eyes, so you I will take You are the test of our grace Threads become lines, we cross till they break and They break from the seams to the bodies of men. Time says we are meant to suffer slink back to the retch I called him home I never wanted them to wither or be crushed by the weight The choice was all his own, How could I have known The simple answers that hold people to the fire and their fate Wait and see for yourself it's in the blood, it’s in the blood, the whole world is in the blood I'd rather tell you how I ruled the world and never stopped But this heart mine is shaking like a spinning top And as it slows all my sins have caught the last of me That reflection in the water tells a story true But it's the last thing you want staring back at you And wrinkled hands weak from plunder barely stir this away There were years where our faces stayed in front us There were moments we forgot what this really was But the death of a memory, is the death we carry We're desperate and dead set, we carry reasons in our chests We reset and forget, the songs we sing are for the blessed Don't take this personally, your quiet exit stole the show The regrets are all said Kings and kingdoms come and go.
11.
Take my hands and lead me carry me the distance Leave me at the place where, the work is done I don’t want to sound like a broken record, but please bear with me, this is more than I can take I’m shaking with sweat and asking for a friend but somewhere in the end they’ve left my side Did pretense make you weak your legs can’t even stand the promise of the dead is that they won’t be back again Darkness Darkness found me, here like a common thief You guard the exits captain, but choices are never free Take my hands lead me on I don’t want to give you answers That you’d throw right back in to my face I’m exhausted from being myself But your voice, is the voice here and always Inside, inside follow Control that you swallow You’ve got the numbers on your side To bury me It’s just as you said, in those words, I am identified Let’s get this started right now The endless excuses We’re all to watch me try Now to die Did pretense make you weak your legs can’t even stand the promise of the dead is that they won’t be back again This favor cast on me, but in this regard I disagree, The life you take is the only thing I have here to my name, The only thing I have is now taken away. The mystery of iniquity the weight of secrets brought to a rest Blood and bone have been my home, but in the eyes I see why it took me Hung around here, just waiting to go home The earth is dark and cold and I think I now know You give yourself away, this ends alone But I wonder, I wonder Who gave you all your jewels, what made you sell your rights (And you say that you have the right to turn your back on me) When did you know you’d forget that once you tried to fight (And you claim that this is not your responsibility) We grow older in this skin, We grow older in this skin (For the ones that you placed here) But the day you say you know your own way (For the ones that you left here) Is the day the blood begins to drip from our fingers As we cling to the earth It’s Pitiful But now I know what it’s like to be alone
12.
alone 02:40
Who gave you all your jewels, what made you sell your rights (And you say that you have the right to turn your back on me) When did you know you’d forget that once you tried to fight (And you claim that this is not your responsibility) We grow older in this skin, We grow older in this skin (For the ones that you placed here) But the day you say you know your own way (For the ones that you left here) Is the day the blood begins to drip from our fingers As we cling to the earth It’s Pitiful But now I know what it’s like to be alone

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released May 19, 2015

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Emery Seattle, Washington

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